grace and gratitude

also doom scrolls, distractions, and defeat

I think my title says it all for this current season, life is all about balance- AMIRITE?! You know, as I am typing this at a late ass hour after telling myself I would go to sleep. HA, I’m hilarious with the promise I tell myself daily. I’ll try again tomorrow :)

Anyway, I mentioned it in my last post, and I have to mention it today because it has been 6 months since I claimed it via the keyboard, on my blog:

I am a writer

I am proud of myself for owning it a little more each day, not minimizing it the way I did before. While I was at A Writing Room retreat, they made each of us get up in front of the crowd and claim it. It was a tiny but such a supportive moment. I went back and forth about sharing it on my socials and I didn’t… yet. It makes me smile when I see the clip (it might be a little small because it’s a screen recording, but you get the point)

I am grateful for the days where the words are free flowing, for my subscribers on here and those who have yet to find me, for my friends that listen to my blog ideas, rants, and rambles. Also, for the folks that surround me and check in to see if I’m still writing. When I get the courage to talk about it with others that don’t know me as well, having them be receptive and curious. You never know what will come out of putting yourself out there, it may not always be rainbows and butterflies but I’m enjoying this ride so far.

One of the bright spots in this journey that happened this past weekend is that I got to be in a breakout room with a woman that I just started following on here:

Ashleigh Vaughn

- check her out! We were both attending a workshop and out of the 150+ attendees, what are the odds that her and I would be able to have a conversation leading us to realize we already follow each other on substack. I am newer to this platform, but I love that substack sends out suggestions of publications to read. It feels like community is right at your fingertips, it’s also more productive than doom scrolling on the other apps, in my opinion.

Speaking of… the way that the medias have the world in a choke hold right now, asking- Diddy do it? Oh, too soon? Definitely corny but between that, the bridge tragedy in Baltimore, the world just overall being in shambles- are we think-pieced out yet? Have we conspired all of the theories? Definitely not but I digress.

The doom scrolls and distractions make it easy to not pay attention to the things you have to take care of in your own life. Especially when you’re feeling a bit defeated. I’m here to say it, it’s me right now. Growth is recognizing it and trying to make some changes. They’re tiny ones but I’ll bounce back. There are some things in life I simply have no control over, and I need to let that go. Where I can focus though, is on the areas where I have some control and that’s the goal.

In the mix of all of that, there has been a lot of good in my days, and I don’t want to continue to overshadow that. Life has slowed down a little bit from the beginning of the year travel plans, so it feels a little boring when I update my friends. Boring is good though; I need to be still for a bit anyway. It’s getting warmer and sunnier, so that helps and giving myself grace has made it easier too.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have some work to do, but I refuse to let defeat keep me in a chokehold. I hope you consider doing the same for yourself too. The worries that seem major now, in time, we won’t even remember why we were so upset. It might not be true for every scenario, but I can think of a lot of them where this too passed. Allowing fear, frustration, anger, and all of the other things consume you can feel suffocating.

A deep breath is needed, hard times don’t always last… you have to keep on riding the waves of life.

While there will likely be days where I distract myself from the inevitable realities of adulting, I won’t let it consume me permanently. If you’re feeling a little stressy, I am hoping you have better days to come!

I hope you always know; I am grateful for you being here!

Until next time❤️

xo,

Ashley